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Cogmed Working Memory Training Outline: Everything You Want To Know About ADHD
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Return to ADDvisor Volume 1 1999 Index Number 7, November 15, 1999 =================================================== In this issue: 1. Nonverbal Communication 2. IRS rules regarding special programs for ADHD kids
================================================== NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION ================================================== ADHD kids often have difficulty with social relationships. Because of their impulsivity, they often miss the subtle nuances of interpersonal communication, much of which is nonverbal. Duke, Nowicki, and Martin have identified six different aspects of nonverbal communication that facilitate relationships. Paralanguage Paralanguage consists of all aspects of sound which accompany words or act independently of them to communicate emotion. This includes tone of voice, rate of speech and emphasis and variation in speech. For example, when my mother was angry with me she stated, “Come here, Mr. Graham.” That statement implies something totally different from the same statement made by my college registrar calling on me to register for classes. ADHD kids often miss these differences.
The ability to read and express the subtleties of facial expression is critical for effective communication. The way we show our feelings in our facial expressions enhances our communication. Our “resting face” also sends information to others. Look in the mirror. When we are not aware of what we want to communicate to others, we are wearing our resting face. Others then infer that we are happy, angry, fearful or sad people. What does your resting face look like?
Postures and gestures are long distance communicators, revealing details about our ethnic origins, level of energy, attitude and motivation. A slumped posture suggests a bared unmotivated person while a person sitting erect in their seat with eyes wide open suggests an interested, enthusiastic individual. It is often said that certain ethnic groups use broad gestures such as waving their hands when they talk while other ethic groups appear more reserved.
Setting boundaries is one of the biggest difficulties that ADHD children experience. They are often hitting or touching other children without invitation. We all have four zones of space around us. In the United States, our intimate space is in a circle zero to 18 inches around us. Only those people that we allow into our intimate space are welcome there. Our personal space is between 18 inches and four feet. When we have personal conversations with people, it is within this distance. If we are further away from each other, then we are inviting others into our conversation. This is actually our social space, from 4 to 12 feet. We are more public with our interactions in this space. Public space is 12 feet and beyond. We are addressing larger groups or are allowing anyone to share our experience. Middle Easterners tend to view Americans as cold and aloof because their personal space starts much closer to the body than do Americans. Conversely, Americans often feel that Middle Easterners are pushy because they invade personal space. Rhythm and Time Recognizing another person’s rhythm and adapting to that rhythm is necessary for sustaining relationships. When our ADHD child wakes up in the morning “bouncing off the wall” because the medication has not kicked in yet and we are still moving slow as we get our self started, we experience a conflict in rhythm. Use of time is another aspect of nonverbal communication that influences our perceptions of others. Time management is often viewed as responsible behavior. Individuals who are consistently late are often believed to be lazy, irresponsible and disrespectful.
Objectics describes our self-image and the impression that we make on others. Included in this is our style of dress, body odor and personal hygiene. When we pay attention to our image, we make conscious choices as to how we come across. If we do not “work on our image” then people make their own impressions of us which may not be how we would like ourselves to be known. Using mirrors, television and movies as opportunities to provide examples of how people use nonverbal communication (both negatively and positively) can be a way to help our children be more aware of their nonverbal messages. Characters on TV are usually use exaggerated gestures and facial expressions to communicate their emotions and intentions. At last, a constructive reason to watch television with your child. ============================================================== IRS RULES ABOUT SPECIAL PROGRAMS FOR ADHD KIDS =================================================== This information was provided by an accountant friend. The question posed to the IRS was whether the expenses for a child with a neurologically based learning disability, such as ADHD, to attend private school are deductible as expenses for medical care under I.R.C. 213(a). The case in which this issue arose was regarding a child diagnosed with ADHD who was attending a private school that had a special program that provided “support and monitoring for students with ADHD. Only students with a written ADHD diagnosis are eligible for this program. The cost of the program is separate from the school’s basic tuition.” In considering this case, it was stated that “the general program at the school is educational and not medical in nature.” The IRS states that a school provides ordinary education and is not medical care. They do note, however, that “the cost of medical care includes the cost of attending a special school for a mental or physically handicapped individual, if his condition is such that the resources of the institution for alleviating such mental or physical handicap are a principal reason for his presence there. If this provision applies, the cost of attending such a special school includes the cost of meals and lodging, and the cost of ordinary education furnished that is incidental to the special services furnished by the school. Thus, the cost of medical care includes the cost of attending a special school designed to compensate for or overcome a physical handicap in order to qualify the individual for future normal education or for normal living.” If the availability of medical care is not the primary reason for an individual to be in a special school, then only the cost of the actual medical care provided can be deducted. This article reiterated that basic tuition is not deductible as a medical expense but the costs of a special program are deductible. If your child is in a special school for ADHD kids, consult your tax advisor regarding this issue. CONTACT INFORMATION _______________________ Alan R. Graham, Ph.D. Bill Benninger, Ph.D. ADDvisor.com Voice: 1-866-ADDvisor Fax: 847-824-2386 Email: Alan@ADDvisor.com Bill@ADDvisor.com Web: www.ADDvisor.com
c) Copyright 1999 ADDvisor.com, Ltd. All rights reserved The above material may be retransmitted or distributed to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a web site. Republication of "The ADDvisor" in paper media is encouraged and permitted by organizations and associations which serve parents of ADHD children at the national, state and/or local level as long as the issue is reprinted in its entirety without charge and includes the contact information. With advance permission, we are happy to edit an issue to fit your space requirements. Republication is also encouraged under other circumstances, however, the advance permission of Alan R. Graham and/or Bill Benninger must be obtained in the event that changes in the text are desired or republication is to be made by individuals or by organizations other than those mentioned above.
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