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ADDvisor Volume 5 2003 Index
Number 1 January 1, 2003
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ANNUAL UPDATE ON TOM
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Time again for our annual update on “Tom” (named changed).
A 15-year-old boy and his family shared the following
letters with me about three years ago and used here
with their permission. We printed this in previous
ADDvisor newsletters as messages of hope around the holiday
season.
Although he was diagnosed with ADHD (combined type) many
years ago his response to medication has been only partially
successful. Tom and his family work hard to manage the ADHD
symptoms that the medication doesn't help, however, despite
all their efforts, he continues to have frequent difficulties
with school achievement, socialization, rule following behavior
and respectful behavior.
His parents work hard and continuously to help him manage these
behaviors through school programs, out of school programs,
counseling appointments, home structure, ADHD education programs
and immediate accountability. Because they have kept a
disability perspective, avoided blaming Tom for mistakes and
avoided putting him down (despite the temptation to do so)
he has remained grateful for his parent’s efforts.
In the long run, all of this effort will pay off. Tom will be
successful. Take heart ADHD parents of the world.
Tom and his family moved to a different part of the country
this year so I don’t have as close contact with him and his
family. I do know that he and his family continue to have
their ups and downs. They continue to struggle with medication
decisions and helping Tom manage making fewer impulsive
decisions. As we have discussed in previous newsletters,
ADHD problems often continue into adulthood and can interfere
in a wide range of areas including school performance,
independent living holding a job, managing money and
maintaining successful relationships. Tom is now about
18 years old.
Roger, (brother-name changed)
These last couple of years have had to their ups and downs.
Thank you for hanging in there with me. Your patience is
very well appreciated I am really trying to do better to.
You are the best brother and more than that my best friend.
I will love you forever.
Merry Christmas
Love, Tom (name changed)
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Dad,
I know that we've been through some rough times and no
matter what I have done you have always been there for me.
I don't know what else I can say but "Thank You".
You are the father a son could ever have! I will try my
best to do better. I love you more than words can explain
and I always will.
Love, Tom
Mom,
Just wanted to let you know that no matter how many times
we "lock horns " or argue you are the Best! Words can't
describe a mom like you. I am sorry about everything I
have given you grief about and I will really try to be
better. Again you are the best and I will love you
forever. You are the best!
Merry Christmas!!
Love, Tom
XOXOXOXO
(The wording inside this card says: "Don't sweat the
details, mom, and try to have a merry Christmas!")
I believe Tom speaks for many ADHD kids some of whom can’t
or won’t express themselves this clearly and openly but
feel this way all the same.
CONTACT INFORMATION
_____________________________
Alan R. Graham, Ph.D.
Bill Benninger, Ph.D.
ADDvisor.com, Ltd.
1-866-ADDvisor
Email: Alan@ADDvisor.com
Bill@ADDvisor.com
Web: www.ADDvisor.com
(c) Copyright 2003 ADDvisor.com, Ltd.
All rights reserved
The above material may be retransmitted or distributed to
whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed,
added or deleted, including the contact information.
However, you may not copy it to a web site. Republication
of "The ADDvisor" in paper media is encouraged and permitted
by organizations and associations which serve parents of ADHD
children at the national, state and/or local level as long as
the issue is reprinted in its entirety without charge and
includes the contact information. With advance permission,
we are happy to edit an issue to fit your space requirements.
Republication is also encouraged under other circumstances,
however, the advance permission of Alan R. Graham and/or
Bill Benninger must be obtained in the event that changes
in the text are desired or republication is to be made by
individuals or by organizations other than those mentioned
above.
