​ATTENDING THE IEP/504 MEETING

Now that you know what you want for your child in school 
some additional tips will help you get there when you
​attend the IEP meeting.

First, do not criticize the other team members. This is 
more difficult than it sounds. It is often the case that 
a parent has expectations for the accommodations their 
child will receive and that these expectations vary from 
the schools. Meetings get scheduled, canceled and 
rescheduled. Teachers and administrators don't understand 
your position. There are lots of reasons for frustration 
but you do not want to "bite to hand that feeds you." 
Remain assertive but not aggressive at all times.

Second, understand the schools position. You need to be 
able to understand how the school sees your child's problem, 
what their interests are, what the school wants, what their 
fears are and what they are afraid will happen if they give 
you what you want. When you understand these things it will 
be easier to develop solutions to allow you in the school 
to get your needs met.

Third, with this in mind, try to seek "win-win" solutions. 
Remember, this is not just about your child. If the school 
loses in your negotiations with them expect them to undermine 
and sabotage the solution.

Fourth, if you anticipate anything but a brief meeting, bring 
food. Sharing food and drink helps to build productive working 
relationships. This is especially true if the parties have been 
polarized or are mistrustful of each other.

Your ultimate goal is to develop an excellent working 
relationship with the school personnel. When you come to a 
meeting prepared, organized and informed you will contribute 
to the success of this goal. When you present yourself with 
a positive, upbeat, assertive but kind attitude you were more 
likely to achieve what you want.


Resource: Wright, Pam; Wright, Pete, From Emotions to Advocacy, 
Harbor House Law Press, Inc., 2002.